Meditation is one of those things you know is really good for you but finding the time and, more importantly, making the effort, is usually terribly challenging. At least for me it has always been the case.
However, recently more people are talking about it, friends are trying it, it’s in the news, it’s practically everywhere. So I began to feel a true real FOMO and decided to give it an honest shot.
Without setting a set plan or goal to meditate x times y times a week (for the first time ever), I simply allowed myself to perceive meditation as a self-care practice and just do it whenever I felt inclined to.
I meditated probably ten-fifteen times since December, just for up to 10 minutes every time. I enjoyed it, learned to notice my breath, but most times was just thinking about my day unable to let the thoughts go. Yet it has always made me feel better at the end so I continued to peacefully sit or lie down every once in a while.
And a few days ago, at a group meditation class at my office (another reason I love my job), I felt IT for the first time. I made my way back to my desk and anxiously (it was a very peaceful type of anxiety - 20 min of meditating do that to you) scribbled down what I felt and I am so excited to share it with you!
I laid flat on my back with one blanket underneath me and one on me. There was a bolster under my knees and I felt strong connection to the floor through my lower back region. I breathed in through my body like a wave. On an inhale, I sent the wave from legs to head and then on an exhale I sent the wave through my back, from head to legs.
With each thought coming, I kindly let go, without judgment, just accepting that thoughts will keep coming. There were maybe ten of them, not too many overall...
And then it started. I would describe it as a galaxy dance outside of my body but inside me. It felt as thought it was both inside and outside, and the only connection to my body I felt through my low back.
I wasn’t scared to continue that dance. I wasn’t scared at all. In fact, I wanted that dance, that spin, to continue, and most importantly, I wanted it to continue at the same pace.
The pace was perfect. It was fast but felt so perfectly in control. I was just in the state of joy from existence of that dance, knowing and accepting that eventually it will end.
But not yet.
Through darkness and blinking lights that felt like strokes of falling stars, it took me to a place where I’d never thought I’d be. It showed me a vivid, juicy image. Many images and moments, as if they were real. And they were, I knew, they were real and true.
That place it took me…It was unexpected. I never thought I would be there. Yet I was, there, loving, happy, true to myself and to the world. Aligned. Challenged. And really, really true. Images kept changing in a perfect speed, but they were all in that time and place and I was just there in them.
Coming back to the room, I had to put in a little extra bitter sweet effort. Opening eyes took few extra seconds …but now I knew.
And all of a sudden it became so easy to be.
I am so hooked now!
I really hope you try meditation as your self-care practice and give yourself some love through it, it really is the time where you can be just you! And please, let me know your experience with it - I am so curious about this practice – I think it unlocks something divine in us and I am so excited to learn how it is for you.
Also – if you have blogs, resources or suggestions about meditation please let them here too!
One that I wanted to share that is not purely about meditation, but about eternal self-love all of us so desperately need is Zen Habits. Make sure to subscribe – every single one of Leo's letters shift my perspective and help me understand myself and the world better.
Sending you lots of Valentine’s Fire & Love ❤